Stop Acting Like a Bunch of Assholes

asshole [as-hohl]
noun, slang:
a stupid, mean, or contemptible person

Some observations on the top news stories from the past week or so:

If you’re a cop and you shoot an unarmed kid, you’re an asshole. If you are a rioter who destroys private property and assaults innocent people under the guise of “protest,” you’re also an asshole. The people in the media who try to turn us against one another for the sake of the almighty Advertising Dollar are assholes. The online race-baiters are assholes. If you’re an actual racist, you’re an asshole. If you think all white people are racists, yep, you’re probably an asshole too.

If you are okay with locking people in cages for smoking a plant, you’re an asshole. If you are a politician who takes money from lobbyists and supports laws that are bad for your actual constituents, you’re an asshole. If you drop bombs on civilians, you’re an asshole. If you strap a bomb to your chest and blow up innocent people, you’re also an asshole.

If you are easily offended by “bad” words like “asshole,” you’re an asshole.

If you think that women or gay people or atheists or other minorities shouldn’t have the same rights that you enjoy, you’re an asshole. In fact, if you don’t believe that everyone on earth – so long as they aren’t harming others – deserves the opportunity to be happy, healthy and free… you are definitely an asshole.

Obviously this list could go on and on and on, but I think I’m beginning to see the problem here: we act like a bunch of assholes. Myself included, from time to time.

But what if we suddenly realized that we’re all on this crazy ride called existence together? That we’re all part of one race – the human race. That even if we disagree over certain issues, we don’t have to escalate to violence and hatred so often?

Perhaps it’s time to stop treating each other like assholes. I’m not holding my breath, but it’s still a nice thought experiment to imagine what our world would be like if we did.


Author: Nick Allison is an Iraq War vet who lives in Austin, Tx, where he doesn’t shoot people, set buildings on fire or get offended by words. Don’t take anything he says to seriously. He’s just trying to figure this shit out like everyone else. Also, he enjoys writing his own bio in third-person because it probably makes him feel more important.

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