If I Was The Man


“Fool me once… Shame on you… fool me twice, ya can’t get fooled again”. ~George W Bush

Lately, I am hearing everyone complain about the government—mainly about Barack Obama, to be more specific. And while I agree with the anger and points they make, I hear very little about what they would do differently. Now, let me get one thing straight before I voice my ideas—I am not naive, I know that there is a reason for corruption in government, and I know that NOBODY in these positions of power would give up without a brutal political fight…some may even have the influence and power to kill any human being on this planet, no matter who they are. But, for arguments sake, let’s say I made it, I become “the man,” the President of the United States, with the full backing of the US people. Here is exactly what I would do.

If I was the President of the United States, these would be my first acts in office:

1) Declare an end to all wars and pull our troops home, effective immediately. All front line personnel will be withdrawn first, with full support from forward positions to rear ones. Once all US personnel are safely removed from forward lines, full withdrawal from country may commence.

2) Declare an end to the war on Drugs and pardon all nonviolent federal inmates.

3) Eliminate all foreign aid immediately.

4) Disband the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms and, with the Attorney General, come up with a plan to criminally investigate all active agents from the very top on down.

5) End all federal government spying on U.S. citizens.

6) Eliminate the federal income tax.

7) By Executive Order, eliminate lobbying within the Executive branch.

8) With the assistance of the Attorney General, investigate all financial transactions between private sector businesses and members of the federal government, and criminally prosecute all in violation of corruption laws.

9) With the assistance of the Attorney General, criminally investigate any political or private figure who profited off the deaths of US military personal and noncombatant civilians, and prosecute them for war crimes and crimes against humanity.

10) Provide full medical coverage for all US veterans, regardless of VA disability percentage. Veterans disabled by injury or diagnosed with PTSD or depression will be granted the treatment of their choosing by any civilian medical practice, with full confidentiality.

11) By Executive Order, repeal all policy restricting US military personnel from filing civil legal grievances against the US military and US military medical services in the event of illegal wrongdoing or malpractice by the US military.

12) By Executive Order, cut 80% of military spending. No cuts will be made against military personnel, all benefits and needed unit supplies will not be eliminated.

13) By Executive Order, repeal National Defense Authorization Act.

14) By Executive Order, repeal the Patriot Act.

15) Abolish the Federal Reserve private bank.

16) Lift all federal mandates making it illegal to cross state lines with all forms of food, private personal property, or medications.

17) By Executive Order, disband the Department of Homeland Security. The US Coast Guard shall fall under Department of Defense, all domestic law enforcement operations will cease immediately and will be replaced with US military operations for coastal defense. All other US Coast Guard missions will remain in effect.

18) By Executive Order, eliminate eminent domain laws within the federal government.

19) Begin peace talks with nations and groups deemed as enemies.

20) Declare the United States of America a neutral nation. No US ground forces will deploy unless the nation is under imminent danger. The US Navy, US Air Force, and US Coast Guard will be the only branches authorized outside of US territory during peacetime.

So there you have it…

This is what I would do if I was the elected representative representing the federal government on a national level.


About The Author: My name is Jay Gondolfo. I’m a 6 year Coast Guard vet who has a love for personal freedom, esoteric/occult studies, offensive and intellectual comedy, and music.

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5 thoughts on “If I Was The Man

  1. Teri, thanks for the faith Lol 😉 I can’t be a hypocrite, who knows what happens to people at that level when it comes to the psychological affects of having so much power at their fingertips, even if they do mean well. I personally would prefer no official “leader” figure, I’d much rather have a TRUE representative who just speaks to other countries as more of a liaison than anything else and leave the rest of the matters to people. I had my power trips before, I made NCO when I was 21 so I definitely understand what abuse of power is and I also learned quickly that people who do abuse their power are not really liked or respected in any meaningful way. We have a saying for power abusers and it goes “respect/salute the rank, not the individual”. I desire to be the leader of myself and myself only, I enjoy coexisting with people infinitely more than wanting to lead them.

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    • well now, jay, you’d be better than most, but i wouldn’t even trust myself in the job. no matter how high the throne, there sits but an ass. but it would be incredibly satisfying to go in and make the changes you propose. and since we’re dreaming, i’d then get out my eraser and rub out all borders, making my job obsolete. at least, i like to think i would 😉

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  2. Pingback: Chaos 2013: Year in Review | Chaos Section

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