Wild Uniforms Becoming the Norm


The Chaos Sports Report with Willie B. Lakey – Veterans Day

Rich people don’t like to be in the military. The shoes are ugly and the uniforms itch. Rich people don’t go in much for revolution or terrorism, either.” ~ P. J. O’Rourke

Are these uniforms in sports getting crazy, or what? “You can’t tell the players without a scorecard,” were cries from vendors as people entered the stadiums back in the day. Now you may need more than a program to just help differentiate the teams, for starters.

Not that uniforms were ever meant to be of stagnate design, mind you, and they’ve really been changing all along. It’s just that now the changes have accelerated from week-to-week, even game-to-game, and no team or franchise has gone untouched in this craze, including stern traditionalists such as the New York Yankees.

Most of the latest fads really are born from advertising; or I should say, that’s my allegation. I hear people pointing fingers at Nike and the Oregon Ducks as the instigators, but c’mon, man! We saw marriages between sporting goods manufacturers and teams or leagues long before Phil Knight’s Nike started spreading itself around like butter on warm toast. Just ask The Google about Albert Spalding sometime, while you’re at it.

Threads Are Only Thing Ever-Changing

It was a different uniform that got me thinking about this today, and ultimately thinking about no uniform at all. One week after the vast majority of the good ol’ USA voted for the status quo in the midterm elections, today was Veterans Day. I celebrated by going to have a colonoscopy, since it’s generally assholes–many of whom are rich, to tie in the quote from PJ O’Rourke earlier–that start the blasted things.

Well, that’s not really all true. My wife actually made all of the arrangements, and my colonoscopy coincidentally fell on Veterans Day, though it sure makes a better story and helps get where we’re going with this piece the other way.

All the news, I mean cable TV/on-line media outlets, were hopping earlier this morning while I waited for the procedure. The newer service uniforms looked a lot different than the ones on the History Channel, where WWI and WWII were being fought.

And Here’s To Those Who Served Without Uniforms

World War II and Korea were still pretty fresh when my young ass made its appearance on this planet, especially that conflict along the 38th parallel. Korea just bled into Vietnam, into the Middle East, into Afghanistan, then back into the Middle East and Korea once again, as far as I’m concerned.

Stories and tales from wars during one’s own lifetime are sure to leave more of an impression. There are two parts of WWII history that fascinate me even more, however: the whole underground in Europe, and the Coastwatchers in the Pacific.

None of them wore uniforms.

IMG_3287-0.GIF Photo – Wikipedia: “Captain Martin Clemens (rear centre), a coastwatcher on Guadalcanal, provided intelligence to Allied forces during the battle for the island (August 1942 – February 1943). The men with him were all members of the Solomon Islands police force.”

Author: A crotchety old man since his birth during Gen. Eisenhower’s first term as US president, Willie B. Lakey resides in the bee-yoo-tiful Texas Hill Country along with his wife, too many cats and his beloved beer fridge. Employed as an overworked and underpaid freelance sportswriter, his few moments of happiness usually come when communing with critters, tending his garden or sippin’ cold beer and enjoying tunes at Gruene Hall.: A crotchety old man since his birth during Gen. Eisenhower’s first term as US president, Willie B. Lakey resides in the bee-yoo-tiful Texas Hill Country along with his wife, too many cats and his beloved beer fridge. Employed as an overworked and underpaid freelance sportswriter, his few moments of happiness usually come when communing with critters, tending his garden or sippin’ cold beer and enjoying tunes at Gruene Hall.

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